Suna Golden Gourd Music Awards
by Iris Serinium
Summary: It's that time of year for the Suna Golden Gourd Award. Why is Gaara hurting Lee? Who's is Temari's Fioncee? Why is Shakira beating up Beyonce? TemaXShika kinda. Hilarious. R&R!


Okay, I thought of this one day and thought it was a cute idea, but I'm just now putting it on paper. It's one of my stories for fourth of July. There aren't any ships, but it is hilarious! Enjoy guys, and remember to REVIEW!!!

-Iris Serinium

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, any Shakira songs, any Beyonce songs, or any Jennifer Lopez songs.

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**The Suna Golden Gourd Music Awards**

"Welcome to the Suna Music Awards!" The blaring voice of the announcer came over the microphone.

"I wanna hear all you lovely ladies and stunning gentlemen out there make some noise!" He yelled, the crowd immediatly going wild.

"Okay, now let me introduce you to our Kazekage, who will be revealing our top three winners for this years Music Awards! Of course, he will have a little help, but for now, everyone, please welcome Sabuko no Gaara!" The crowd screamed.

A couple fangirls in the audience held up a sign that read "We love u Gaara! ur so sexy!" A long with the girls screaming the same thing.

The red-head walked onto stage, giving a small wave and going to the podium. It was pure silence except for the sounds of crickets.

"Yeah..hello everyone." Still crickets.

"So...I'm glad you all came to the awards." Just crickets.

"Yeah..Are we ready to start?" More crickets.

"WILL SOMEONE PLEASE GET THE CRICKETS OUT OF HERE BEFORE I USE MY SAND ON THEM?" No more crickets.

"Okay then. Let's get started." Gaara said, the crowd screaming again.

"Now to help me with out fifth place award, I would like for everyone to welcome my sister, Temari!" Gaara said, Temari walking out on stage.

Temari smiled and waved, walking next to Gaara.

"Thanks everyone! Now, let's get started. The winner of our third place award is Gwen Stefani!" Temari yelled.

No screaming, no clapping, just some bushy-browed kid yelling.

"I HATTE GWEN STEFANI! SHE'S AND EVIL LADY WHO SINGS ABOUT SEX!" No other than Lee yelled.

"Hey, is that the kid that I almost killed during the Chunnin exams?" Gaara asked, looking intot he crowd.

"I think it is." Temari said, straining her eyes.

"Good, I'll go finish him off." Gaara said, walking off stage.

Lee screamed as he was drug by Gaara's sand out of the building.

Temari laughed nervously. "Sorry about that everyone, but Gwen Stefani isn't our winner its..."

Drumroll, heavy breathing, oh my god...

"Beyonce and Shakira's, Beautiful liar!" Temari smiled as everyone began to clap and howl.

Beyonce and Shakira both came up from the audience, smiling and laughing as the song played.

"We want to thank everyone for coming out!" Beyonce said, holding up the golden gourd.

"Yeah, and for picking my song as the third place winner!" Shakira said.

"Your song?"

"Yeah, my song."

"I sang it too!"

"Yeah, but you're not really spanish. You're black."

"You got a problem with that?"

"As a matter of fact, I do."

Temari watched as the two singers went at it, fighting each other as they went off stage.

The crowd kept cheering. "Okay, now, settle down. I SAID CALM IT!"

Everyone immediatly quieted.

Temari smiled. "To help us with the next award, I would like to introduce everyone to my fiancee', Shikamaru Nara!"

Shikamaru came out, not bothering to wave or smile. Fangirls screamed his name. Temari glared at them, each of them shrinking down in their chair.

"This is such a drag." Shikamaru said.

"Oh, come on, Shikamaru, it's not that bad!"

"I can think of better ways to spend my friday nights..."

Temari blushed and slapped Shika in the back of the head.

"Boy, you're a joker, huh, Maru?"

"No, actually I was being serious, Mari."

Temari laughed nervously again and shoved the card into Shika's hands.

"Just read the second place winner and maybe I'll let you live to our honeymoon night."

"And the winner for second place is Beyonce's, Got Body." Shikamaru said with fake enthusiam.

A fairly bruised and beaten up Beyonce walked on stage, smiling with no teeth. Everyone grimaced and stopped cheering.

"Fanks veryone. Fer choosin' ma sowg fer secand plece. and nut dat beetch's, Hakira." Beyonce said, with an...er...not toothy smile.

She walked off stage just as Gaara walked back on, dusting himself off.

"Just in time to announce the last award! Did you take care of that guy with the bushy eyebrows?" Temari asked.

Gaara rubbed his hands togethor and laughed evilly. "why yes, I did Temari. Now let us announce the First place winner. In First Place, Shakira's hips don't lie!"

Hips dont lie began to play and everyone began to dance. Shakira came up and accepted her award, belly dancing to the song. Once the music was over, the announcer dude came back on.

"Thank you all for attending the Suna Golden Gourd music awards! And we will personally pay for any hospital bills for medical illments caused by Gaara, Shakira, or Beyonce! NOT! Sorry, Rock Lee. Remember to come back next year!"

**THE END (Finally)**

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I hope you all enjoyed that! It was very funny to write, and I had periods where I couldn't stop laughing long enough to type. This was originially meant for fourth of July, but due to some events, I couldn't get it out in time! So sorry!

-Iris


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